There’s no new ground being covered here. It’s really just an admission of guilt. As we get older and have more experience, we’re supposed to be learning, but we also forget things that we’ve already learned.
How do you feel about driving around running errands dealing with people? Do you think it’s a pain in the ass or is it fun for you? I think it’s a pain in the ass. I usually feel like I’m in a rush even if I’m not. I guess I’m just trying to get through the errands as quickly as possible so that I can be done with them. It’s a pretend rush that I’ve created.
Way back, in some other lifetime, I used to think of these sorts of things as adventures. Every time I left the house, I’d tell myself I was going on an adventure. That was more fun. And I don’t remember always feeling rushed either. Just that sense of being in a rush creates an unpleasant edge.
A few weeks ago, on a day off, the kids were at school and my wife had her own things to do so I ran a few errands. The way it all played out got me thinking about all of this. After breakfast that day, I went out to run my errands. As I’ve said, I usually don’t love that sort of thing but I don’t usually dread it either. It’s just something that’s got to be done. But this time, I found the whole experience to be pretty chill. Since no one was home and I didn’t have any particular time that I needed to be anywhere, I just enjoyed the pace that was given to me.
First, I went to my eye doctor’s office to get my PD measurement done. That’s a whole other story…but the experience at the office was pleasant and I got the information I needed.
When I left there, I went to the Post Office to mail a package. I also had to pay taxes at the Town Hall, so I parked between them. I had to wait in line at the Post Office. I saw someone I knew already being helped, at the counter, when I got in line. I got to observe several other interactions with people who knew each other while I was waiting in line. I enjoyed it. I noticed that I enjoyed it and I found it amusing that my wife feels the opposite about the small towness of the place we live.
After that I walked to the Town Hall. When I walked inside there was another line. I’d never waited in line before to pay taxes, but this time there was already several people waiting. Our neighbor works at the front desk so I got to talk to her. It turned out to be the last day to pay the quarter’s taxes. Earlier in the day, when I remembered that I hadn’t paid our taxes yet, I thought I was late, but I was just in time. I usually pay earlier in the month so I hadn’t experienced the line before.
But the line didn’t matter. I was just relaxing.
Next stop was the grocery store for just a few things. Last stop was getting gas.
The whole thing about knowing people everywhere and seeing people who knew each other was fun. It’s more fun than just being in proximity to so many other humans and not having any real interaction with them. It’s pretty easy for me to ignore people and just do my thing, but I realized that if I’m going to be out and about with people anyway, I might as well have some fun with them.
And the errand running was more enjoyable because of the way I perceived it as well. Not having any reason to be back home and not having any time constraints just put me totally at ease with whatever came up, whatever delay or just whatever. My attitude about always having to be someplace and not having enough time pushes me into grumpiness. By just rolling with what came up and treating it as an adventure the whole experience was so much more enjoyable.
It seems like I should have already known this stuff, right? No Earth shattering revelations here. Here’s my admission of guilt. I did know this stuff but I forgot it and just happened to refigure it out by accident during these experiences I’ve just written about. So now what? How about we treat each day as a new adventure? How about we realize that our sense of always being in a rush is a self-imposed torture? How about we try to keep it light and have some fun with the other humans that we have to interact with anyway?
Part of treating each new day as an adventure is being open to the unknown. It’s realizing that each new day is unknown; that’s what makes it an adventure! We create routines and schedules and familiarities to make us feel more secure. It helps us to believe that we have some control over our lives when really most of our lives is out of our control. We are living in chaos! It’s a fucked up world out there, people!
And this is how I tie my little story into what we are all experiencing right now: Coronamageddon. We are dealing with some extreme events right now. Because these events are extreme, they are thoroughly shaking up the routines and structures that we have created to feel in control of the chaos. Now we are faced with the reality that life is chaotic. We can’t hide from the chaos when it’s coming at us in the form of a contagious virus.
There are real reasons to be concerned right now. Concerns about our health, the health of our loved ones, our ability to pay our bills and so much more. I’m not going to downplay any of that and I’m not trying to say that those things are not real. But we still have to deal with it and we can still choose how we deal with it. Everything we are faced with in life is an opportunity.
Right now the veil has been pulled back and we can see the confusion and lack of control that is really always present in our lives. We can freak out because we’d convinced ourselves that we have control or we can recognize that we never really had control and figure out how we’re going to get comfortable with that fact.
Everyday is an adventure. Some parts are dull and boring. Some parts are exciting and thrilling. Some parts hurt and some parts feel good. Some parts are dangerous and some parts are comforting. We don’t get to pick which parts we want to experience. It’s all coming at us anyway. We can decide to accept and roll with it or we can freak out and get crazy.
Coronamageddon is just our latest opportunity to admit to ourselves that we are not in control. I hope we embrace this opportunity to become adventurers and to become more comfortable with uncertainty.