There’ll be no new ground here. This is really just an admission of guilt. We continue to learn as we get older, but we unlearn too. Then we have to relearn the lesson we’ve learned and forgotten.
I used to actively see my days and things I was doing as “adventures”. I used to be excited for errands as a reason to get out into the world. Now, my perception is different. I feel like I’m in a rush most of the time when I’m running errands. I squeeze these errands into the day and try to get them done as quickly as possible. That takes away the opportunity for fun and adventure, because I’m not open to letting it all unfold and I’m just rushing through and not really engaging with the moment I’m in or the people I’m interacting with.
Why not enjoy the interactions I have with the other humans? Why not have some fun or spread some good vibes if I’ve gotta be dealing with people anyway?
I am the cause of my own suffering in every one of these situations. It is just about being tuned in and alert in every moment. It’s easy to get caught up in the flow of what’s going on but it’s hard to appreciate what’s happening and actively engage. I’ve been playing tennis regularly with a group of guys. Staying alert in the moment in tennis is no different than staying alert in any other moment in our lives. In tennis, if I miss a shot there’s no time to stop and think about it. The ball is coming back at me right away on the next point. It’s easy for the game to get away from me. Being able to stay focused on the point I’m playing, make immediate decisions about where to hit the ball, how hard to hit the ball, while at the same time running to where the ball will be and putting those in the moment decisions together with the bigger strategy of how to play against this particular opponent. Well, it’s almost impossible for me and as a consequence, I’m not a very good tennis player. But it’s fun to run around and hit the ball and I enjoy the mental challenge so I keep on playing and trying.
Just like in a tennis game, moments can get away from us in our daily lives. Why am I feeling so frustrated? How did I get here? One thing slid into another which slid into another and I was just along for the ride sliding into this hole instead of noticing what was happening as it was happening and making in the moment adjustments and actively steering my own course. The moment took me somewhere, instead of me being an active navigator. These little moments that get away from us and slide into other moments can turn into a day that’s all of a sudden over and then the whole week is gone and we look back and wonder how that happened and we’re feeling tired and feeling like the week didn’t turn out the way we wanted and we didn’t accomplish what we wanted and it piles up and keeps on sliding and we’re just sliding along with it.
The trick is to notice when it’s starting to slip away from us so that we can hold on, reign it in, and make our adjustments or pause and take a deep breath or do whatever we need to do to stop the slide. It’s difficult. It’s constantly happening. We have to always be “on” and vigilant in order to be open to each moment and appreciative of each moment and active in each moment.
Or we have to keep our mind simple by blocking out the noise. By blocking out all the things that we’re told are important but are just getting in the way of being in the moment. Then we can be open to what’s right in front of us. Whether we’re actively trying to stay focused on the moment despite all the noise or we’re trying to keep the noise at bay to have a clean slate in the moment, it takes focus to make that shift. The world we live in is noisy and its priorities are false. Of course, we find ourselves overwhelmed by it. It’s like being submerged in water and trying not to get wet.
Fall down, get back up. Repeat. Might as well laugh about it. As long as I’m getting back up there’s another chance to do it differently. This ongoing process of learning how to live is just like anything else. We can be annoyed or entertained. I find my foolishness entertaining. As frustrating as the constant cycle of failure can be, it’s also reassuring. The opportunities to try again just keep coming at us.