Ice Cream, Compassion, and Faith

I wasn’t sure what to write about next then I had a conversation with an undercover Buddhist teacher. We talked for a while and he reminded me to look at the good that is right in front of me. Then we talked about having compassion for the miserable people we get stuck dealing with and also about faith.

He told me this story: Imagine you bring your children to get an ice cream cone. If you don’t have children, you’ve probably been at an ice cream place and seen this happen to someone else’s kid. The children order their ice cream and when it’s handed to them it seems bigger than it needs to be. In just a minute they have ice cream all over them. After a few more minutes you see what’s about to happen. That top scoop of ice cream is about to fall off the cone. Then splat, it hits the floor. Your child is now looking at the scoop of ice cream on the floor not paying attention to the cone in his/her hand. You see what’s going to happen next. The cone is tipping, the rest of the ice cream is going to land on the floor. There it goes, all the ice cream is on the floor now. How did the rest of the ice cream end up on the floor? Because your child was looking at the ice cream that fell instead of the ice cream still on the cone! We all do this! We certainly have legitimate complaints and real hardships in our lives but how much time do we spend looking at those things instead of looking at all the positive things we have going on? There are always so many things for us to be happy and grateful for but we’re just standing there looking at the ice cream on the floor instead of enjoying the ice cream that’s still on our cone.

This rolls right into the idea of having compassion for the person who is causing us pain. I can focus on the anger coming from this other person. I can focus on the abuse, negativity and misery that’s being dumped my way. Or I can wonder what this person’s life must be like if he/she really thinks it’s ok to flip out on me like they are. How much fun can it be to be this person? Their day must suck if this is how they handle the obstacles and inconveniences that pop up during their day. If I can think about how they feel instead of how they’re making me feel then I am less on the defense. I am less engaged in this confrontation and more able to step back and see it for what it is. Thinking about how the other person feels get me outside of myself. If I can find compassion for this other person I can free myself from being so affected by the behavior they’re sending my way. Caring about how they feel actually makes me feel better.

But it may not always be easy to feel for the other person. Then what? I don’t really understand Faith. It doesn’t make sense to me. But this teacher was so enthusiastic about Karma that I started to get on board. To accept the idea of Karma is to have Faith. Just thinking about Karma allows me to let go of my feelings of unfairness and injustice. The universe will take care of it. And it allows me to feel good about doing good shit. I don’t need to be upset by what someone else is saying or doing because Karma and the universe will handle it. I don’t have to feel angry or really care at all about what someone else says or does. It’s none of my business. I can focus on my business and my actions.

None of this is going to work if we are not really going for it. We have to be fully invested in every moment of the day. I was a slacker for so long, not appreciating each moment, not making the most of each moment. Now it’s like I’m squeezing a sponge trying to get every drop out of every moment. And we must also have some way to remind ourselves of these things. We will forget and get sucked back into looking at the ice cream on the floor. We need to take the time to step away, recharge our batteries and clean out our bullshit filters.

I’m not writing this as a way of telling you what to do. I am thinking out loud. I am trying to understand what’s happening and sort it out and create a plan to be successful at this life. To be successful while also being good to other people. Or at least be less of an asshole if I can’t make it to actually being good. If these ideas sound good to you that’s great. Go for it! If you are simply entertained by my struggles, that’s great too. Enjoy a laugh on me.