Things have gotten worse when it comes to human interactions. It’s not just me being a grumpy old man. I’ve lived it and have been working with the public for years. The change is real.
Maybe some of it is our increase in interacting electronically. With those kind of interactions we aren’t getting the same human feedback. We don’t get the same emotional response and it’s harder to remember that it’s a human with feelings on the other side.
Maybe some of it is our instant gratification culture. The idea of not getting what we want when we want it is now offensive. Patience isn’t a strength, it’s an inconvenience. The deeper dimension to the instant gratification mindset is that it’s selfish. It’s a one sided, one way street. If all we think about is what we want now, we are no longer considering what it looks like from the other side.
And this type and stage of capitalism, that we live in, is a miserable experience. It’s dehumanizing. Greed is poisonous. Accumulation for the sake of accumulation is an empty, never to be satisfied goal. Enough will never be enough. The people who aren’t super rich but who are near it are often living beyond their means in a state of stress knowing they’re one unexpected expense away from collapse. The people living near the bottom might still have flat screen TVs, microwaves, and smartphones but they’re working shitty jobs and shitty hours. They exist in a world where they are constantly bombarded with the idea of luxury and sold the idea that if they just bought more everything will be better but they’ll never be able to buy more. (It’s the same sales pitch that has the rich living beyond their means, chasing an empty promise of fulfillment through purchases.) And if you’re in the middle, well, you’re pinched. You should feel ok but you know that your chance for doing better is being taken away right before your eyes. You’re doing well enough but you’re not doing better than you were and the system is being rigged more and more to make it so you never will. You’re just hoping you’ll be able to afford retirement.
If we all want it now and we’re all stressed and we’re living in a society that dehumanizes us and doesn’t even value our existence but only values what we can consume then we’re not set up to have decent interactions with each other. This system of greed is also actively trying to divide us and see people as “other” instead of humans with the same emotions and struggles. Angry at “others” and valuing consumption instead of our human experience, we are distracted. This is a winning formula for those at the top but for the rest of us it sinks us deeper into the shit.
No matter our situation we can look for things to be grateful for. Gratitude is the antidote to despair. When we think things are bad we can choose to search out the positives. We aren’t likely to see them if we aren’t looking. The false promise we’re fed is that we’ll feel better if we buy more or buy the newer version. That promise makes us competitors. We aren’t really competitors. There’s enough to go around, it’s just that the people running the show are hoarding most of it. Kindness and compassion are free and they make you feel better than any purchase ever can. There are no competitors with kindness; there’s an unlimited supply.
At this point, being decent to each other might be a subversive act. Be kind. Be a revolutionary.