Last June felt different. I’ve been less excited about this June. I thought our flowers were blooming earlier this year but looking back at photos it turns out that they are blooming later. It’s like I’ve been walking on one of those airport moving sidewalks. Time has slipped by me or I’ve slipped through time. It’s already the second summer of Coronamaggedon. I’m disoriented. I don’t know where the past months have gone and I don’t know where I’m heading now. June is over. Many days of work this month. Sausage party with darts in the garage to start the month & keep me from feeling lonely. Little league, life lessons and batting stance. Is it serious or just for fun? Clover has filled in the bare spots in our lawn and this year I’ve been demoted to the backup lawn mower. Osprey are everywhere. The idea of unintended consequences won’t leave my mind. Fourth of July festivities. Watched the world famous orange crate derby for the first time. Proud supporter of the top three finishers. Great after-party too. Strawberry Supermoon. Missed it. Too cloudy. Damn clouds obscure most of the astronomical events that I plan on seeing. The familiar rhythm of baseball games but my team is hurtin’ this year. Homemade radlers to beat the heat. Women in their summer clothes. Black-crowned night-heron. Masks, no masks. Confusion and disagreement continue. All those days of work in a row have made me tired. That cold didn’t help either. See what happens when we take our masks off? The summer cars are on the road. Last day of school. Carnival at the Town Common. Middle School is a time of transformation. Guess that’s why it hurts. All the regular stuff doesn’t care about summer. Bills, appointments, and to dos still show up on the calendar. Schools out. Reminiscing about the times when summer meant something. Tennis, but not as much as I’d like. Every day is the same, at home or at work. Be patient, repeat what I’ve said before, be patient, repeat what I’ve said before, try to still be patient, repeat what I’ve said before. How long can my patience last? Some days are better than others. Despite my fatigue I know I’m lucky. The same shit that makes me crazy lifts me up. Gives me purpose. What have I got to complain about anyway? Whoa it’s hot. Some of my peeps escape to reunite with family and play in the pool. One of my friends is dying. Occasionally I find myself crying. The current is always pushing us forward. We should be taught as kids to sometimes turn our heads to the shore, not just to appreciate and catch the view but to pull our mind out of that current and reconnoiter/reorient/refocus. Say to ourselves, “This is it”.