On a morning this Spring, during the drive to work, I was feeling buzzed from an early morning workout. That’s a strange thing to say and it was a strange sensation to have, while I was sober, early in the morning, but there’s no better way to describe it than to say I felt buzzed. It wasn’t as cold as I thought it would be but still cool, wet and misty. The grass was green, with a whiteness almost from the moisture, flowers blooming, birds singing. It was wet and colder than we’d like but there was still so much to enjoy and feel good about. Obstacle/Opportunity. Yin/Yang.
“Power of the Words” was playing on my stereo. So upbeat, sounds so good and it’s about thoughtfulness.
The obstacle is in our minds. It’s like the old “is the glass half full or half empty?” question. It’s the same fucking glass! Is it an obstacle or an opportunity? The answer to that question is up to us because it’s really the same thing. We get to choose how we see it. Is it another crappy, wet, too cold Spring day or is it another beautiful day to enjoy?
“I can see clearly now” was up next on the playlist. The rain wasn’t quite gone but it was getting there and it was a nice reminder that if we are seeing clearly then we are seeing the opportunities in front of us instead of seeing obstacles.
Some things just suck and are truly awful but if we only see the obstacle then we will be suffering even more the entire time we’re dealing with it. We’re going to suffer as we make our way through shitty situations but we make it worse when we only see the shit. There’s still an opportunity there even in the worst moments.
“Still is still moving to me” is the next song to play. A koan. To me, it’s about meditation. To be still is not always inactive. The same idea about how we perceive things. Can we see beyond the surface and beyond our initial impression or reaction? Can we see around the negativity and find the beauty and the things to be grateful for?
As I continued on my drive, my buzz wore off. When we’re not buzzed, when we’re in the daily grind and we’re presented with challenges, it’s harder to hone in on the opportunities instead of letting our autopilot show us the obstacles. It’s harder to remain upbeat, positive, and kind. Every moment in every day is practice. We are in training. We can train ourselves to be positive in our view of the world. We can train ourselves to shake off the negativity, rudeness, and anger that comes our way and remain true to the vision of the person we are trying to become. We can be positive and kind but it takes an effort.
Being able to see our reality as a series of opportunities instead of obstacles is almost a koan too. Sometimes we just can not do it even when we’re trying. A few years ago, as I was complaining about something to a friend, he presented me with the reminder that what I was complaining about didn’t have to be an obstacle, it could be an opportunity. I knew what he meant. I understood the words he was speaking, but I just couldn’t turn that corner in my mind. My response was something like, “I understand about looking for opportunities and ways to learn and grow but this is a fucking obstacle!”.
When we make something an obstacle in our minds, we are definitely not making it easier to overcome. However difficult the situation was already, by labeling it an obstacle, we just made it more difficult. If we can find the opportunity and think about what we can learn and how we can grow, the situation may still be difficult and even unpleasant but our view of it now has some hope. Instead of just looking to get through it we are looking to take something away from it. We are looking to be transformed by it. There is hope and positivity in looking at our struggles as opportunities. Seeing only an obstacle turns that hope into worry, anger, or even despair.
“Appreciating every moment doesn’t mean pretending that something is good when it isn’t. It’s not about denial or delusion. It’s about training yourself to see the good that actually exists alongside the challenges and to notice the ripple effect of this positive perspective.” -Frank Lipman MD