We are in a tough spot. We are inundated with news of despair, violence and hate. We are intentionally mislead and divided by the greedy. It’s easy to feel lost, to wonder what we can do. But most of what we read about or hear about is out of our control.
That realization could make us feel more lost or even helpless. But the truth is that we do have control over our choices, our actions, and how we live our lives. Despite all the miserableness currently in our world, we still get to choose how we live our lives.
We often think that what we do is so small that it won’t make a difference. That is false. This morning I was in my front yard, with my dog, when a neighbor drove by. She is more than a neighbor. She’s a friend. She stopped, rolled down her window, and said that she was sorry to hear that my Great Aunt had died.
That was completely unexpected. And it was such a small, simple thing. But its impact wasn’t small. It was quite meaningful to me.
Too many times I’ve wondered how to help someone. How to make them feel better or how to do something meaningful for them in a difficult time. It usually feels like there’s nothing I could do to make a difference. How can I say or do something that will make a difference in the midst of their grief or hardship?
When my mother died, a few of my friends came to the funeral. They didn’t know my mother. I understood that they were coming for me but it wasn’t until we were all there that I understood how impactful it was for them to be there. Before that moment, I thought it was nice of them but I was consumed with my grief and with details. I didn’t think it would really matter to me that they were there. I was so wrong (that list keeps getting longer). I will never forget that they were there and I will never stop being grateful for it.
They did not change my grief. But I felt supported. It sounds so silly but I don’t know how else to say it. What a powerful thing our presence can be. Just carving out the time in their schedules to show up. I’m still thinking about it. It’s not an exaggeration to say that it changed my life.
We can do great things with our little lives. We can’t take away grief or undo what is troubling someone but we can let them know that we understand. We can acknowledge their pain and acknowledge that what they’re going through is real. We can say that we care. We can be present.
It doesn’t matter that we can’t take away someone’s pain. What we do have to offer is so plain and simple that it matters.
Don’t give in to despair. Don’t be immobilized by the headlines. Don’t believe that what you have to offer isn’t enough. It’s so easy to positively impact someone’s life.