Ok, it’s 2021. So what? If you are one of those people that was all excited for 2020 to end and 2021 to begin, how do you feel now? Less enthusiastic I’m guessing. To be fair, this is not 2021’s fault. 2021 made no promises. It was false hope. It was an excuse to be excited, an excuse to celebrate. And that’s fine but here we are now in January.
January is a strange month in any year. It’s a fresh start but it’s kind of dull after all the activities and celebrations of November and December. And a lot of people have spent too much money and/or overindulged in food and alcohol over the past couple of months so even if it’s not a real new year’s resolution, it’s common to step back a little and slow it down for January. And it’s super cold (if you live somewhere warm…shut up).
But this January…well, it’s still Coronamageddon. Covid is WORSE THAN EVER. Ok, by the time I’ve gotten around to publish this we are coming down off the peak but still it’s a shit show out there! It was hard enough to socialize without fear of death when it wasn’t 9 degrees with the wind chill. Sorry, friends I am not hanging with you inside. Not gonna do it.
I’m feeling in a bit of a rut. I’m not burned out like I was back in the Fall. I’m past that now but definitely in a rut. I don’t want to talk about Covid. Either you agree that it’s serious or you don’t. Don’t want to discuss it. I don’t want to talk about the vaccine or why it’s so hard to get. It is what it is. Do you really have a better plan for getting people vaccinated? Didn’t think so.
Don’t want to talk about politics. He who shall not be named is out. That’s good but things are still a mess, our country is still harshly divided. Things may be getting better (or not) but it’s a broken system and that’s just another depressing conversation.
I know I’m lucky to not have to worry about paying my bills but work is still a stressful grind so I don’t want to talk about that either.
We barely leave the house so we can’t talk about what we’ve been up to. So, what the hell is there to talk about anymore?
The gauge on my soul energy is hovering just above E. I could safely stay at home and meditate. I’m sure that would make me feel more at peace and the gauge on my soul energy would rise. But being in a rut means I don’t really have the motivation for that and even when I think about meditating, no one else ever leaves the house so it’s hard to find an alone, quiet place to just sit. Trapped. I have an answer but seem unable to implement it.
A rut is a fixed or established course of life, usually dull or unpromising. Meditation lies outside of the rut. I’d have to reach for it but I’m stuck in the rut. See how this works?
The struggle is real and it continues. The COLD weather adds a little spice to the struggle. It’s hard to find things to do. It’s hard to be active and to get the kids active. It’s hard to get fresh air and make vitamin D. It’s harder to socialize. The vicious circle is that we are isolated and it makes us feel low and when we feel low we don’t have the energy to socialize but the only antidote is to socialize.
What to do? Have you ever been ice skating and gotten your blade stuck in a rut made by someone else’s skate? Have you ever driven on an icy, snowy road and gotten your wheel stuck in another car’s tracks? You don’t get out of a rut gently. You must pick up your skate out of the rut and put it down on smooth ice. You must make a firm turn with the steering wheel to break free of the rut. Sitting around crying is for babies.
Yes circumstances are difficult, they are less than ideal, they are not how we would like them to be. But is this really unusual? This is more extreme than the regular variety insanity we encounter in our lives but the way to handle it is the same. Assess what is happening. Discover the difficulties and challenges. But then we’ve just gotta go for it and do the best we can. Or we can sit around crying like babies.
We all get stuck in a rut sometimes. It may take a while to realize that that’s what’s happened, but once we realize that we’re in a rut then we have the opportunity to break out of it. We get to choose. Crying just makes the groove wet. Lifting up our feet and putting them on flat ground changes our course.